I already touched on Scream Queens and Rock of Love Charm School. Now I’d like to mention three more.
The Pick-Up Artist…..This show hurts me because there’s nothing fun about it for me. I feel sorry for these guys who are obviously clueless about how to be fake enough to impress a chick. I used to be somewhat awkward with the young ladies before I turned into the ravenous stud I now am, …:).., and I know how lost they probably feel. It makes me embarrassed for them. I guess, even though a lot of them seem to be way too nice to the point of gayness, it does take some guts to display your insecurities to the world the way they are doing.
On the last show, Greg, the pretty boy of the bunch, got voted off. Now it’s down to two, and wouldn’t you know it, I just drew a blank as to one contestant’s name. I could Google it, but I’m too lazy. Anyway, the fella who used top have a big gap in his teeth that the producers fixed so he could participate in the quest for nookie. My wife says he looks like a Soap Opera Doctor…Dr. Trent Garrison maybe.
The other guy is the one who is going to win. His name is Simeon, and when he isn’t trying to charm the ladies he is kinda creepy. But he has learned to woo the bimbos who are oblivious to the seduction machine he has now become thanks to his mentor…ahem…Mystery, who looks like something from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Mystery is also, apparently, a Charles Lindbergh fan according to his headware. Who gave him his advice? Does he try to look stupid just to prove he can get the ladies despite that?
The Biggest Loser….Probably the most significant one I watch, where big fat slobs go to get starved and abused and they see who can lose the most weight. It sounds comical, but ends up being inspirational, especially to big fat slobs like myself. There are currently five fatties left: Renee, Michelle, Ed, Heba, and Vickie. There has once again been a lot of politics and team warfare that has gone into this season, and the acknowledged jerk wad of the game is Vickie. She’s so cunning and manipulative that her own coach Bob called her “Shakespearean” probably referring to Lady Macbeth.
Anyway, this is really hard to predict but I’ll give it a shot.
First to go….Heba. Her husband is there but she is probably a tad lazier than the rest.
Next, Renee. She has done well, but hasn’t dropped as fast as her daughter and crazy Vickie.
That leaves Michell, Ed, and Vickie as the finalists. They usually have three I think. And, no, I haven’t a clue who will win, but I’ll go out on a limb and say…..
Michelle.
Celebrity Rehab…This isn’t a contest like the others. Let’s face it, seeing who will die of an overdose last isn’t exactly going to attract many viewers. (Unless of course, you could guarantee they would die this season, then it would be a smash.) But the more you watch the show the more you start genuinely caring about the patients, and appreciate what they’ve been through, and how they’ve shed their celebrity personas to be real people who open themselves up bare to the public. The celebs are Rodney King, Sean Stewart, Jeff Conoway, Gary Busey, Steven Adler, Amber Smith, Tawny Kitaen, Nicki McKibbon, and I think that’s it.
They all have past pains and addiction problems to deal with, but I like some of them more than others, so here’s how I rank them as people…which is totally unfair.
8. Sean Stewart…Rod’s son. He seems nice but self-centered, as well as a tad of a trouble maker and attention whore.
7. Jeff Conaway…He’s in pain so much he can be a real jackass at times.
6. Nicki McKibbon….She kind of melts into the scenery and doesn’t stir things up much.
5. Tawny Kitaen…Seems like a decent person who is trying very hard to deal with her problems.
4. Gary Busey….Adds a lot of spice to the show, and is obviously a bit wacko after cracking his coconut a few years back in a motorcycle accident. Never a dull moment with Gary around.
3. Amber Smith…Kind of enigmatic. It’s hard to envision her life having sunk as low as it has. She’s obviously still beautiful enough to have a career, yet she was whoring for drug money. She seems in complete control at times, and totally helpless at other times. Her drug addict mom is on the show too. Don’t like her at all.
2. Steven Adler…Former drummer for Guns-n-Roses who can’t deal with being abandoned by hos mom and his band. He seems to be making good progress, but he is holding back a lot of demons right now.
and my favorite person on the show….
1. Rodney King…He’s just cool and honest. Everyone in his life seems to love him to death and want the best for him. He is an addict, but nothing like the kind of person who would end up on the wrong end of police brutality.
Bye for now.